Writing: Darning a Relationship
When I was a child—one of nine in a blended family—we did
not throw away socks with holes. Instead, we learned to darn them.
Yes, boys and girls alike, we were taught to darn our own socks.
About once a month, we would gather in the family room. Mom
would hand us our holey socks, a darning egg, thread, and a needle. The first time, Mom offered us plenty of help.
Here are the basic tips. 1) Turn the sock inside out. 2) Place the daring egg (or light bulb) inside the sock behind the hole. 3) Choose your darning thread color and thread the needle. 4) Start your stitch in
“healthy” material at least ¼” from the margin of the hole. 5) Weave the needle and thread through the material and hole east to west as shown above. 6) Next weave the needle and thread through the material and hole north to south. 7) Keep the rows as close together as possible. 8) Repeat steps six and seven, as necessary. 9) Instead of knotting the ends, weave them through and clip.
Darning really works, possibly extending the sock’s life by 100%. Plus, the darned area is comfortable and sometimes a bit fashionable. Think of patched blue jeans when those were the rave! And if you had a favorite pair of socks, that you couldn’t bear to part with, darning was a real lifesaver.
Darning works for socks and it also works for relationships. Yes, some relationships weren’t based on much to begin with. Maybe it is best
to let them go. But too many people set aside a meaningful relationship after a rupture because they haven’t learned the art of darning.
In this case, pick up an ink pen instead of a needle. While you want to address the hole, begin by writing about the healthy part of the relationship and how much it means to you. Then carefully weave in your apology (east and west) and gratitude (north and south) using plenty of words (thread).
When done well, the repair will strengthen the entire relationship. And because it’s in writing, it can be read, admired, and inspired.
If you’d like to repair a relationship with a friend, co-worker, or family member—and you don’t know how—consider hiring a ghostwriter. Going through the confidential process with an insightful ghostwriter can help you restore the current relationship while acquiring the
skills to mend others. After all, relationships are like socks—our favorites are prone to thin spots and holes.
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