OVERCOMING FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING
The college freshman is nervous about giving her first speech in front of the class.
I tell her, “Babe Ruth was one of the greatest baseball hitters of all time. Do you think that he was looking at his socks when he got up to bat?”
She asks, “What do you mean?”
“Well,” I say, “maybe he was concerned about how he looked in front of all those people. Maybe he wondered if one of his socks had slipped down. What do you think?”
She smiles broadly and says, “No.”
“That’s right,” I tell her. “We all tend to focus on ourselves when asked to get up in front of others. And when we focus on ourselves, we put ourselves in the worst possible position to succeed. Instead, we need to be like Babe Ruth. He focused all his thoughts and energy on one thing. He focused on the ball.”
She thinks about that for a few minutes. Then, she smiles and says, “So, I need to focus on my speech.”
“Yes,” I say enthusiastically. “You have a really good message, and I believe your classmates will enjoy it. So, you need to control the part that you can control and the rest of this will take care of itself. What you can control is what you focus on.”
Still not totally convinced, she asks, “What if I start to get nervous? What if I think I’ll fail? I can’t help it. Thoughts like that just happen.”
“It’s true,” I agree. “That even happens to professionals. Everyone can get a negative thought. It’s what you do next that makes a difference.”
“So, what do you do?” she asks.
“You replace that thought with a positive thought and action. For instance, you tell yourself the truth. The truth is: ‘I have something meaningful to share and I’m going to do fine.’ Then, you practice more. I practice every presentation 10 times before I ever give it. I practice it out loud and in front of a mirror. That’s what it takes to build my mental and muscle memory to fully focus.”
She looks at me a bit quizzically.
I assure her, “It’s impossible to focus on two things at once. So, when you start to worry, immediately get out your notes and practice. Doing this will train your mind to focus. It really works.”
As an afterthought, I add, “I always tell myself, ‘I can’t afford the luxury of negative thoughts.’ I immediately replace them with a positive thought and action. You can do that too.”
She takes the conversation to heart. She challenges her negative thoughts and practices until she’s comfortable. A few days later, she comes to see me with a big grin on her face.
She says, “I did it! And the class really liked it. My professor did too.”
Yes, this young woman—in her heart and mind—hit a home run. It might be sandlot baseball, and currently, she has no desire to engage a larger audience—but she knows how to play the game.
This blog was inspired by a true story.
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